Dear Weary Heart,
Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and felt your chest tighten?
Their promotion.
Their travels.
Their wedding photos.
Their happy, laughing children.
And you sit there, in silence, wondering - Why not me?
Comparison is one of those hidden illnesses of the heart. It creeps in quietly. It doesn’t shout. It whispers. And the whisper gets louder when it hits the right nerve.
The Secret Weight We Carry
No one sees comparison written on our faces. People see smiles. They see polite congratulations. They see us pressing “like” on Instagram posts.
But no one sees the ache in the heart.
No one sees how after scrolling for 30 minutes, you put your phone down and suddenly hate your own life.
No one sees how someone else’s achievement makes you feel like your own efforts are meaningless, even though they’re clearly not.
No one sees how another couple’s happiness makes you question if you will ever be loved in the same way.
And yet, these feelings are real. They can burn. They can drain you. They can make you forget every blessing already in your hands.
The Root of the Ache
Allah reminds us directly in the Qur’an:
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they earned, and for women is a share of what they earned. And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:32)
This ayah is profound. Allah is saying: Don’t look sideways. Instead, turn to Him for abundance and blessings.
Instead of wishing for someone else’s portion, ask Allah for yours.
Comparison hurts because it shifts your gaze away from your own path. You stop seeing what is in your hands. You start believing your story is incomplete unless it looks like theirs.
But the truth? Your story was never meant to look like theirs.
The Illusion of Social Media
I’ll admit that sometimes I find myself caught in the cycle too.
I open Instagram. A speaker younger than me lands a global stage. Another author sells out his first book tour. Someone else seems to be on family holidays every other month.
And suddenly, my mind starts counting.
How many years have I been working?
How many books have I written?
How many talks have I given?
Why do I still feel behind?
Although at this age and stage of my career, I am able to snap out of those thoughts pretty quickly, but there’s something for us to take notice and learn as well.
The illusion of success, love, and happiness is powerful. Because social media doesn’t show the full story. It hides the tears, the arguments, the sleepless nights, and the inferiority complexes.
It hides the fact that some of the people we envy might themselves be envying us.
Comparison is an echo chamber of lies.
The Prophetic Lens
Our beloved Prophet ﷺ gave us a principle to anchor our hearts. This is one of my favourite reminders. He said:
“Look at those below you, and do not look at those above you, lest you belittle the favours of Allah upon you.”
(Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
This advice is not about ignoring ambition. It’s about protecting the heart.
If you constantly look up, you’ll always feel deprived.
If you look down at those who have less, struggle more, or carry heavier burdens, then gratitude will grow.
It’s not that you stop aspiring. It’s that you stop poisoning yourself with the belief that your worth equals someone else’s highlight reel.
The Ache in Careers
Think of how comparison plays out in careers.
You work hard. You stay late. You give your all.
Then someone else, with less effort (or so it seems), gets promoted.
The ache begins.
The questions spiral.
Am I not good enough?
Why is their effort recognised and mine overlooked?
Here’s the reality: you cannot see what Allah sees.
Perhaps that promotion is actually a test for them, not a reward. Perhaps your delay is protection, or preparation for something greater.
Allah is never unjust. The timing may not be yours…yet.
The Ache in Relationships
Then comes love.
You see couples posting anniversary captions. You see weddings filling your weekends (and social media feed). You see parents with toddlers giggling in parks.
And you ache.
You wonder if you will ever taste that sweetness.
You wonder if maybe you missed your chance. Or the one chance you had at love that didn’t last, was probably your one and only shot.
But here’s the thing: someone else’s happiness is not a measure of your deprivation.
Your story is being written by the One who knows you better than you know yourself. He knows which heart will complement yours. He knows what timing will truly serve you best.
And sometimes, silence now is mercy. Because a rushed ‘yes’ could lead to a lifetime of regret.
The Ache in Faith
Even in worship, comparison sneaks in.
You see someone memorising Qur’an faster.
Someone always praying in the first row.
Someone finishing 2 or more khatams in Ramadan while you’re struggling with one juz’.
And again, the ache whispers: You’re not good enough.
But our Prophet ﷺ told us:
“The most beloved deeds to Allah are those done consistently, even if small.”
(Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
Your small steps, done sincerely, weigh heavier than you think. Don’t let comparison rob you of the sweetness of your private devotion.
The Cure for Comparison
So what do we do with this ache? How do we heal from it?
1. Redirect Your Gaze
Every time you catch yourself saying “Why not me?” — change it to “Ya Allah, bless them, and grant me what is best for me too.”
Du’a shifts envy into compassion. It also disarms jealousy and turns it into connection.
2. Count, Don’t Discount
Gratitude journals may sound cliché, but they are medicine. Today, I challenge you to write down five blessings you are grateful for. Then do it again tomorrow, and the day after, until it becomes a habit.
The goal is to force your eyes to notice and acknowledge the abundance that you may have overlooked in your life.
3. Seek Your Portion
Instead of chasing what someone else has, ask Allah directly for your rizq. He created your portion long before you were born. It will reach you. No algorithm can block it.
4. Reframe Success
Redefine success not by metrics of followers, salary, or rings on fingers, but by closeness to Allah. Because the only comparison that will matter on the Day of Judgement is: How did you use what you were given compared to what you could have?
A Personal Note
When I look back at my own journey, I realise the seasons I envied others most were the seasons I forgot to trust Allah’s timing.
But the moments I surrendered, the moments I said “Ya Allah, extend for me what You know is best” peace (and ultimately my own “success”) came.
Because at the end of the day, comparison is a thief. It steals joy, it steals presence, it steals tawakkul.
But when you let go of comparison, you make space for contentment, trust, and growth.
An Invitation to the Weary Heart
So if your heart is aching today because of comparison, let this be your reminder:
Someone else’s timeline is not your timeline.
Someone else’s rizq is not your rizq.
Someone else’s chapter is not your chapter.
Allah is writing a story for you. One that fits you. One that protects you. One that will unfold at exactly the right moment.
Until then, breathe.
Be grateful.
Make lots of du’a.
And keep walking your path every day.
Because one day, you’ll look back and realise, there was never a need to compare.
Better days ahead,
MW
I can’t agree more with you about letting go of comparison. When I learnt to truly trust in His plans, Allah gives me success in how it should be for me and when I learn to accept it wholeheartedly and be grateful for it, He gives in abundance. MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah.