Everyone’s Comparing, But No One’s Happy
The Weary Heart #26
Everyone’s scrolling. Everyone’s watching. Everyone’s measuring their own pace against someone else’s “highlight reel”.
We don’t even realise we’re doing it anymore. The tiny flicker of envy in our heart when someone posts their new house. The quiet guilt when another announces a milestone you’ve been praying for. The subtle ache when success looks easy for someone else.
Everyone’s comparing, but no one’s happy.
Because happiness doesn’t live where comparison does.
The Hidden Habit We Grow Up With
I realised from a very young age that comparison had already found a home in me.
In my teens, I was always looking at the people around me. Friends who were smarter than I was. Friends who were better looking. Cooler. More confident in whatever they wore or did.
Some were better at sports I loved. Others could sing beautifully in our nasheed group. Some just seemed effortlessly creative with anything they put their hands on.
Every day felt like a silent scoreboard - of me keeping a mental track of everyone’s progress and abilities, compared to mine.
And slowly, it broke me.
I lost my self-esteem.
I lost my self-worth.
And bit by bit, I stopped liking myself.
The Turning Point
It all changed when I decided to look away from others and focus on myself. To pay attention on what Allah had already blessed me with. And to be grateful for them. It sounds too simple as I’m writing this, but the process took time, and lots of mental debates against my own thoughts, if that makes sense?
So I made a decision. And this is what I chose. Instead of chasing someone else’s gifts, I started nurturing my own. And that shift changed everything.
When I focused inward, I realised how much more valuable my unique path was. It boosted my confidence. It made me braver to try new things because I was no longer afraid of failing. Or, in most people’s words, making a fool of myself.
To me, it didn’t matter anymore, because I had stopped comparing.
Here’s the irony. The moment I stopped doing that, I started rising.
In my relationships.
In my career.
In my personal growth.
And before I knew it, I became the one people compared themselves with.
It’s crazy, but that’s the reality.
The Cost of Comparison
Comparison steals more than joy. It steals clarity of mind. It forces you to look away from your own God-given gifts, by paying all your attention and energy towards someone else’s.
It blinds us to the gifts Allah has placed in our own hands.
It breeds bitterness and resentment, even towards those we love.
And it turns life into a race no one truly wins.
You get a raise, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
You finally travel, but it seems ordinary compared to someone else’s trip.
You post something meaningful, but keep checking if it performed well.
The cycle never ends until you consciously step out of it.
A Reminder from the Prophet ﷺ
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Look at those below you, not those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favours of Allah upon you.” (Sahih Muslim)
This isn’t about settling for less.
It’s about being grounded in gratitude.
It’s about remembering that your lane, your rizq, your timeline, were never meant to look like anyone else’s.
The Return to Peace
I often remind people now. Don’t compare.
It is the root of unhappiness.
The root of bitterness.
The root of resentment.
When you stop comparing, you start living.
You become mindful again.
Of what you have.
Of who you are.
Of the quiet blessings that never make it to social media.
And your focus sharpens on your life’s work, your purpose, and your own journey of progress.
What Life Has Taught Me at 42
Turning 42 made me realise how much time, energy, and mental space we waste replaying other people’s victories in our heads.
You see someone happier. You see someone richer. You see someone more loved, more followed, more respected.
And before you know it, your thoughts spiral into questions that don’t serve you.
Why not me?
Why not yet?
Why not that life?
I’ve been there. I’ve lived that cycle. And I’ve seen how it drains the soul. And moving away from such thoughts LIBERATES your soul. It gives you mental and emotional freedom. Things you need in order to live a meaningful life.
So here’s my conclusion after four decades of living, failing, learning, rising, and reflecting.
It’s not worth it.
Not one bit.
It’s not worth the sleepless nights wondering why you haven’t “caught up.”
It’s not worth the heartache of comparing your private pain to someone else’s public success.
It’s not worth the anxiety that comes from scrolling through other people’s highlight reels when you could be living your own story.
Just put a gigantic, mammoth, Megalodon-sized full stop on that chapter once and for all.
You don’t need that in your life.
You really don’t.
The peace you’ve been chasing is not hiding in someone else’s success story.
It’s waiting in your own.
And when you finally stop revisiting the thought of how others are better, happier, or further ahead, you begin to see the miracles that have always been happening quietly around you.
Your family.
Your growth.
Your faith.
Your purpose.
All the things that were enough all along.
Final Reflections…
You don’t need to be further ahead.
You don’t need to prove that you’re enough.
Just return to the space Allah has given you.
Do your work with excellence!
Celebrate others sincerely :)
And trust that peace follows gratitude, not comparison 🤍
When was the last time you were genuinely happy, not because of what you gained, but because of what you finally let go of?
Stay in faith.
Your friend,
MW
PS: Wanna join me for a spiritual retreat in Lombok? Details here